Two Making Up

When it comes to women and men one of the main differences between them is the rate and ease with which they become aroused.

Arousal is just the beginning of satisfaction but from the start men and women are often on different pages, often one partner is ready to go (usually the man) and the other has barely gotten started, at least not yet!

This situation may cause problems in sexual relationships, and often times does. But when both partners realize and understand the differences between them and adjust accordingly in their lovemaking, sex couldn’t be better.

Most men usually become completely aroused in just a matter of minutes or quicker. Men respond quickly and easily to basic and and most often predictable triggers such as a simple sound, sight, touch or smell. There are times when male arousal is too easy and many men have stories, usually embarrassing stories they would rather not share about times when they’ve become overly aroused regardless of their attempts to slow down.

In the case of women sexual arousal is usually a slower, more complex, often unpredictable, and sometimes a difficult process. This not because women have desires or needs from men but because women think differently (think being the key word) from men.

Generally, men often focus on specific goals and issues, one at a time instead of the “big picture. Once men focus on sex, there is not much chance turn down arousal because, right then sex is the only issue that matters. Regardless of what may be going on in the rest of his life or even that the sexual affair may be damaging to his relationship.

The opposite is true when it comes to women. The female sexuality is linked to everything such as her stress levels, emotions, including her surroundings and feelings about herself and especially her feelings for the man she’s with. When it comes to women it’s the big picture that counts, women have a hard time separating different aspects of their lives. Women are known for their ability to devote their energy in several directions at the same time.

Women need to be able to relax and let go of the big picture to be aroused. Obviously this goes against most uninformed man’s beliefs and it takes a woman considerably more time than a man to get “in the mood”. Where as men block out other non-sex thoughts, women will process a lot of information before arousal.

I am not saying that a woman goes through a checklist in her head, but in some ways she does. She will take in to account the relationship, feelings, her day, and any number of things. It just means it takes longer for a woman relax and let any concerns fade away.

Whatever is going on in her big picture, the process will take some time. The understanding man will take it slow and help her relax and unwind. The effort to control himself and give her the time she needs will prove to be well worth the effort.

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